After a beautiful Saturday evening of reflecting, rejuvenation and reaching out to some amazing women. I decided to reflect on what a village is in my opinion. I can only give my personal analogy after learning for many years, rediscovering my broken culture, hidden traditions and just plain ignorance. I feel I have enough mother intuition and connection with my daughter to write this in all heartfelt honesty and love.
I will start by saying this...
Nubian DOESN'T belong to me alone. I was a vessel used to bring her here. I remember the first time I looked into her eyes, I knew then that her coming here was bigger than my ego to claim personal ownership. After waiting thirty six years to become a mother. My nurturing intuition was right. Signing her birth certificate didn't give me exclusive rights to a child that belonged to our village. My daughter is a gift that her father and I have given to the world. When Nubian was born everyone that is assigned to her life received more purpose and meaning for their arrival here as well.
I feel it would be robbery for me not to share what I have learned about the traditional African village. One of the things that I love and have gathered is that although Africa is very diverse in its culture, they all seem to share a sense of community within them. Some of the more traditional villages that have held on to their culture demonstrate the art of sharing "everything" this includes the responsibilities of the children. When the mothers cook all of the children eat. It teaches the children togetherness and the importance of village life.
It seems as though everyone has a sense of belonging and they know what their roles are. The elders are held in high regards and respected among the village, the women take care of the children and in parts of the Sub-Saharan they plant and harvest crops as well. I would love to know just what part of Africa I'm from. I don't know so this has given me a greater
in fascination with ALL African Culture. I love to incorporate all the wonderful things about it that I have learned. It feels like home when I do. One of the practices that I have embraced is the "village" mentality. I see children as my children. I have noticed when I see them thought this paradigm it allows me to have more compassion.
Having to change my mindset has caused me to examine the fact that my culture was so far removed from me that I didn't know who I was. As a person of African decent the village mentality has been taken from most of us, most mothers don't want or allow the influence of other great women in their child's life. This is the BIGGEST mistake you can make."I am only responsible for my portion of wisdom that I am assigned to give. The rest is assigned to the villagers". As a mother you don't have all the answers. A wise mother knows this. Always create relationships with women who can enhance your children.
As a people we have to revisit and return to our culture and heritage. Without them we are reduced to colors and labels that are given to us by others who know exactly who we are. African people have always had the ability to build and cultivate everything that they touch. Re building our relationships with one another is essential to move us forward.
"When one is quiet with his own thoughts he can see the error of his ways."
- Andreka Bryant
Xoxo
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